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I firmly hold the belief that it is never too late to transform. I believe you absolutely are able to train a seasoned creature, on the condition that the mature being is willing and eager for knowledge. So long as the individual in question is willing to admit when it was mistaken, and endeavor to transform into a more enlightened self.

OK yes, I am the old dog. And the lesson I am working to acquire, despite the fact that I am decrepit? It is an important one, something I have grappled with, repeatedly, for my whole existence. My ongoing effort … to grow less fearful of huntsman spiders. Apologies to all the other spiders that exist; I have to be pragmatic about my capacity for development as a human. The target inevitably is the huntsman because it is sizeable, in charge, and the one I encounter most often. Encompassing a trio of instances in the last week. In my own living space. Though unseen, but a shudder runs through me with discomfort as I type.

It's unlikely I’ll ever reach “enthusiast” status, but I’ve been working on at least attaining a standard level of composure about them.

A deep-seated fear of spiders dating back to my youth (in contrast to other children who are fascinated by them). Growing up, I had plenty of male siblings around to guarantee I never had to confront any directly, but I still panicked if one was obviously in the immediate vicinity as me. Vividly, I recall of one morning when I was eight, my family unconscious, and trying to deal with a spider that had crawled on to the family room partition. I “managed” with it by standing incredibly far away, practically in the adjoining space (in case it ran after me), and emptying a significant portion of pesticide toward it. The spray failed to hit the spider, but it succeeded in affecting and disturb everyone in my house.

In my adult life, whoever I was dating or cohabiting with was, as a matter of course, the most courageous of spiders between us, and therefore in charge of managing the intruder, while I produced frightened noises and fled the scene. If I was on my own, my strategy was simply to leave the room, plunge the room into darkness and try to forget about its being before I had to enter again.

Not long ago, I visited a companion's home where there was a notably big huntsman who resided within the sill, primarily hanging out. As a means to be more comfortable with its presence, I imagined the spider as a her, a one of the girls, one of us, just relaxing in the sun and overhearing us yap. This may seem rather silly, but it had an impact (somewhat). Or, making a conscious choice to become more fearless did the trick.

Regardless, I've endeavored to maintain this practice. I think about all the logical reasons not to be scared. I am aware huntsman spiders are not dangerous to humans. I understand they consume things like insect pests (the bane of my existence). I know they are one of nature’s beautiful, non-threatening to people creatures.

Unfortunately, however, they do continue to scuttle like that. They move in the most terrifying and somehow offensive way possible. The sight of their numerous appendages carrying them at that frightening pace induces my ancient psyche to go into high alert. They claim to only have a standard octet of limbs, but I believe that triples when they get going.

However it cannot be blamed on them that they have scary legs, and they have just as much right to be where I am – possibly a greater claim. I have discovered that implementing the strategy of making an effort to avoid instantly leap out of my body and run away when I see one, trying to remain composed and breathing steadily, and consciously focusing about their good points, has proven somewhat effective.

Simply due to the reality that they are hairy creatures that scuttle about with startling speed in a way that causes me nocturnal distress, does not justify they warrant my loathing, or my high-pitched vocalizations. I can admit when my reactions have been misguided and fueled by irrational anxiety. It is uncertain I’ll ever reach the “scooping one into plasticware and relocating it outdoors” stage, but you never know. A bit of time remains within this seasoned learner yet.